


Is There in Strange No Charm?

by sidebyside_archivist



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Episode: s03e05 Is There in Truth No Beauty?, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-01
Updated: 2007-09-01
Packaged: 2020-06-26 09:10:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19765069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidebyside_archivist/pseuds/sidebyside_archivist
Summary: Kirk realizes that he may have been too human in his method of pursuit, and Spock realizes that he who hesitates is lost.





	Is There in Strange No Charm?

**Author's Note:**

> Note from LadyKardasi and Sahviere, the archivists: this story was originally archived at [Side by Side](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Side_by_Side_\(Star_Trek:_TOS_zine\)) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. We tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Side by Side’s collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sidebyside/profile).

"Well, Jim, I have to congratulate you," McCoy drawled from the doorway.

"Bones?" Kirk looked up from his desk, interrupted from his halting composition of a report on the various incidents surrounding Ambassador Kollos' tumultuous stay on the Enterprise. "Sorry," Kirk continued, "I'm a bit preoccupied. What do you mean?"

"I mean, whatever you said to Miranda Jones, it worked. We have Spock back, Dr. Jones has her Kollos, and--"

"--May we never cross paths again," Kirk said ruefully. "I think I need a drink."

"And I think someone needs to cut you off," McCoy said, clearing the doorway so that the door shut behind him. "What was it Kollos said? We lead such lonely lives."

Kirk bristled with irritation. "I made him stop," he said, referring to Kollos dredging up Spock's emotions of alienation and loneliness in the mind-link. "What more do you want?"

"He's hurting, Jim."

"Don't you think I know that? I could have lost him, Bones. I can hardly even believe it."

McCoy came closer, leaning up against the desk. "Does he know that?"

"What do you want me to say? I've tried to make him see, but he insists on staying in that Vulcan straitjacket."

"He _is_ Vulcan, Jim." McCoy was compassionate, but firm. "However much you or I talk about his human half, and try to bring it out, you have to at least respect that part of him that is Vulcan--or you really will lose him."

***

Kirk found his Vulcan in a private area on the observation deck, trying--and failing--to meditate. "Hi, Spock," he said by way of greeting.

"Captain," Spock replied without looking up.

Kirk sat down next to him. "What happened to 'Friend'?"

"Kollos was rather effusive. I regret . . . any embarrassment."

" _Your_ embarrassment, I'm sure," Kirk rejoined. He looked at his reflection in the transparent aluminum, wondering how to broach the next subject. "As embarrassing as leaving the visor at the helm? Or was it . . . ? Did someone . . . ?

Spock's reaction was violent. He immediately became tense and moved away from Kirk, but Kirk caught his arm and held on, resulting in him being dragged at least a meter.

"No," Spock said, and tried to pry Kirk's hand off with his free one.

"Spock," Kirk said, with a hint of warning.

"No one influenced me, though I did see in Miranda's mind that you suggested as much to her. She helped me as much to protect her ego-image as anything else."

"And?"

"Please unhand me. This is most undignified."

"All right." Kirk released him and unconsciously brushed his uniform back into place.

"Kollos forgot. As did I. I was preoccupied."

"I'm sorry. If I had known--"

"You did what you could."

"I'd like to give Kollos a good thrashing."

"Quite impossible, as you well know. And I fail to see why you should bear him any ill will," he added, with typical Spockian flair.

Kirk looked away. "Selective blindness, Spock?" Absently, he curled his right hand and opened it again. "What you saw so easily in Dr. Miranda Jones, you don't see in me? Don't imagine that someone . . . else . . . wants?" Kirk gave a little shrug and began to walk away.

Spock hated his emotions sometimes. Right now they were making watching Jim walk away in such a state utterly unbearable. "Jim."

Kirk turned around. "You won't even give me what you gave Kollos."

Spock swallowed. "You are . . . dangerous. You want so much more. Kollos . . . was . . . sympathetic."

"Sympathy is all well and good, but don't you . . . want--need--. . . love?"

Spock looked up with shining eyes. "What if we're wrong?"

Kirk walked towards him. "What if you spend your entire life waiting because you're afraid to make a mistake?"

Spock shook his head. "Because you're too important to me," he explained.

"You know," Kirk said, placing his hands lightly on Spock's sides. "Doctor Jones had her issues, but she was at peace with what she wanted. Something to hope for? Strive for?"

"Peace . . . . It is so often elusive."

"You know I would give you everything I have to give. I'll make a place for you, a safe place, a quiet place where you'll never be lonely."

Spock, moved, swallowed again and bent his head forward to look into Kirk's eyes. "Jim," he said softly. He carded a hand through Kirk's hair. "No speech on the benefits of physical love today?"

"I was wrong to expect you to be exactly like me."

"Indeed; but this is a departure from type."

"I tried to tell Miranda Jones many of the same things I told you. Afterwards, I realized how pathetic I sounded." Kirk leaned in so his head was resting on Spock's right shoulder. "I am a physical man," Kirk said. "I can't deny that. But I can only insist on what you need, not what I want. And if I'm wrong about what you need," Kirk looked up, separating himself a little bit from Spock's warmth, "I trust you'll tell me, right?"

It's hard to say what went through Spock's mind at that moment. Perhaps it was the joy in Miranda's face after she joined with Kollos; perhaps it was a reflection upon Jim's earnest declaration of a moment before. Whatever the cause, something was different this time: Spock changed his mind.

He leaned forward and kissed Kirk.

The kiss was a bit vague, an inexact pressing together of lips, but when Spock pulled away, his lips looked bruised.

"I do not believe it would be appropriate to continue this in this room," Spock said.

***

"ETA to the Parnassas Sector, Mr. Chekov?"

"4.3 hours, sair."

"Bridge to Engineering."

"Scott here."

"Prepare for warp seven."

"Aye."

"Increase speed to warp seven, Mr. Sulu."

"Aye. Warp 6.1 . . . 6.2 . . . 6.5 . . . 6.9. Warp 7 achieved, Captain."

"Good work, gentlemen." The captain smiled benevolently.

Dr. McCoy burst onto the bridge. "Why the sudden rush?"

"We're making up lost time. Mr. Scott assures me the engines can handle it." Kirk's eyes narrowed. "What brings you here?"

"Just checking in on the general health and wellness."

"Mm-hm. Well, don't get too carried away, Doctor."

Now McCoy's eyes narrowed. He leaned over the captain's chair, and whispered into Kirk's ear. "Took my advice, for once?"

Kirk leaned back in his seat. He looked smug. "Give me one reason I should give you the satisfaction."

"You're as bad as that dad-blasted Vulcan!" McCoy whispered furiously.

"What if I tell him what you said about him yesterday?"

"What was that?"

"About respecting his Vulcan-ness."

McCoy stole a glance at Spock, who, not surprisingly, was looking directly at him and raising one eyebrow in his general direction.

"So," McCoy said very quietly, "if I ran a scan of your posterior _right now_ \--"

"BONES!" the captain roared. He waved a hand. "Get on with your doctoring."

"Oh, I'm done here. Looks like everything is healthy--your reflexes, my instincts . . ."

"It is a shame," Spock intoned, "that gloating was never beneath you."

McCoy smiled wickedly. "No. It's not."

The Enterprise sailed on.


End file.
